


Reasonable Business Practices

by neveralarch



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Agender Character, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:32:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neveralarch/pseuds/neveralarch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>They first met at the Blue Cat Club.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasonable Business Practices

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lalaietha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalaietha/gifts).



> Happy yuletide, lalaietha!
> 
> This fic contains accidental misgendering. Let me know if you need details.

They first met at the Blue Cat Club. In those days, Pepe tended toward black leather with studs and boots with hidden lifts. It was a sort of protective coloration. Liking men and liking fashion and looking small got you into fights, in the back alleys of Ankh-Morpork. Pepe had decided to compromise, alter the presentation a little. Avoid some of the more annoying bullies. Pepe went to the Blue Cat Club looking puffed up and taller and mean. It didn't feel quite right, but Pepe hadn't felt quite right in a long time anyway.

There was a dwarf on the club floor tonight. He was very large, almost spherical, and his beard was silky black and carefully groomed. Not Pepe's type, really, but there was something about him. The way he moved. What he wore. Pepe couldn't take eyes off him.

The dwarf caught Pepe staring, and winked. He walked over to where Pepe was leaning on the wall, and twirled. His leather tunic flapped and his rings and necklaces sparkled.

"Like what you see?" asked the dwarf.

"It's all right." Pepe took another appraising glance. "Rings are cheap, stones don't match. Necklaces very nice, but too subtle - they're getting lost in your beard. Boots are latest fashion but you've sacrificed quality for style. The heels are already breaking off, I'm sure you've noticed. The tunic is top work, though. Never seen that tailor before."

The dwarf stared, and for a moment Pepe thought he was going to try a punch or something. But then the dwarf laughed. "Thank you. I made the tunic myself, Mister-"

"Pepe. Just Pepe."

"Ah." The dwarf looked him up and down. "Pepe."

"I don't want to hear anything about that." Pepe was painfully aware, as always at times like this, of the thick Morporkian accent leaking through each word. "None of this 'ooh, did your mum call you _Pe_ pe' stuff."

"Darling, I wouldn't dream of it." The dwarf smiled. "I am Madame Sharn. My mother called me Snori, but I'm afraid she was mistaken."

Pepe took that in, and adjusted some ways of thinking. Didn't ask what a woman was doing at the Blue Cat Club. In the meantime, Madame Sharn was still talking. 

"You have an eye for fashion, Pepe," she said. "I'm starting a business, and you seem a man of the world-"

"Person of the world," corrected Pepe.

"Person of the world." Madam Sharn leaned in. "I could use an individual like you."

"You can't just pick up employees at clubs." Pepe leaned in too, nose to nose with Madam Sharn. "Especially not clubs like this."

"Why not?" Madam Sharn's teeth glittered in the colored lights of the club. "Would you like to dance, Pepe?"

Pepe very nearly said no. But Madame Sharn made a _nice_ tunic.

The next day, Pepe threw away the ugly boots with the lifts and the battered leather jacket that someone had bled on. They weren't needed anymore.

Pepe did keep the switchblade from the jacket pocket, though. Finding yourself was all well and good, but a sharp knife was always useful.


End file.
